Don’t panic! You have another week and a half left, I’m just getting a jump on it. My experience has been that Guilt Day (otherwise known as Mother’s Day) inevitably makes everyone feel obligated and burdened, and then guilty for feeling that way. My husband actually scolded my kids last year with, “It’s Mother’s Day, we have to be nice to your mother.” Many graduations are held on Mother’s Day, probably just to avoid it. Kill two dreadful occasions with one brunch, I guess.
So in an attempt to be helpful, I am sharing a few questions and answers for my soon to be written book, The Big Book of Answers For Men. Note to the ladies, these can be used as appropriate lecture points or conversation starters.
QUESTION: Why should I happily honor my wife on Mother’s Day? She’s not my mother.
A. She’s the mother of your children
B. You love her dearly
C. She deserves the best of everything
ANSWER: All of the above. Suck it up
QUESTION: What if my wife tells me she doesn’t want or need a gift?
A. Honor her wishes, skip the gift
B. Give her a card. Then leave and go spend the day playing golf, tennis, etc. with your friends
C. Pick up some flowers on your way home from B
ANSWER: This is a trick question. There is only one answer. No matter what she says, buy her a nice gift. Suck it up.
QUESTION: What is a good Mother’s Day gift for my wife?
A. A flimsy negligee
B. New floor mats for her car
C. A weed eater
ANSWER: None of the above. As a rule of thumb for gifts, never give anything with an electrical cord or that is for use in house cleaning or yard work. A, B and C are best saved for Father’s Day because admit it, these are all really for you.
Well, I hope that helped, but we didn’t even address our own mothers. I am getting mine a new iron, but I feel guilty about it.